- Wear pajama pants out in public, I will judge you. Especially if you're over the age of eight, because that shit ain't cute, man. It's not that hard to throw on some pants, dude wearing ratty old South Park pajama pants in Newbury Comics. I know pants are just a major hassle enforced by society to prevent public indecency; I feel ya. Hell, if you refer back to This Post, you'll see that even in my own list of Things That Shouldn't Be Necessary But Are, wearing pants is in there, but do I look in the mirror when I'm wearing my fuzzy Mickey Mouse pajama pants and think, "Gee, I look totally presentable right now?" Absolutely not. What if you see like... your future mother-in-law or something out in public while you're sporting those super classy pajama pants with penguins all over them? No way are you marrying her daughter, now, buddy. You. Are a bum.
- Wear Crocs anywhere but in your garden, and you are over the age of ten, I will judge you. There's holes in them, pal. Miss, there are holes in your shoes. What are you supposed to do with that? Shoes are not meant to be rubber and lime green... or shaped like that... Ever. And if you put those little rubber button whatever-they-ares on your Crocs, go stand in a corner; no one likes you anymore. I'm sorry, that's a little harsh. Go home. Please.
- Look like Albus Dumbledore, I will judge you. I'm talking to you, old man eating Wonton soup in that Chinese restaurant. Please don't cast a spell on me.
P.S.- Super big thanks to my pal Rafa over at The RudeBlog for putting Pork on a Fork in his list of bloggity blogs that he likes to read. Check out his blog. Now. It's funny. Guaranteed laughs or your money back; just kidding, I have no money for you. It's funny, though.
Another P.S.- Pork on a Fork has a Facebook page, now. You can like it on Facebook from the sidebar right here on this
crappy looking snazzy blog of mine. Go like it, so I don't look like a loser.