Monday, June 13, 2011

Dumbledore wants his damn pork fried rice.

Sometimes I'm really judgmental of people. And I look at them like this:
Or this:

Or maybe even this:

But only on special occasions. I like to think I'm generally a pretty nice person, though, so I try to keep an open mind. Some people, though. If you:
  • Wear pajama pants out in public, I will judge you. Especially if you're over the age of eight, because that shit ain't cute, man. It's not that hard to throw on some pants, dude wearing ratty old South Park pajama pants in Newbury Comics. I know pants are just a major hassle enforced by society to prevent public indecency; I feel ya. Hell, if you refer back to This Post, you'll see that even in my own list of Things That Shouldn't Be Necessary But Are, wearing pants is in there, but do I look in the mirror when I'm wearing my fuzzy Mickey Mouse pajama pants and think, "Gee, I look totally presentable right now?" Absolutely not. What if you see like... your future mother-in-law or something out in public while you're sporting those super classy pajama pants with penguins all over them? No way are you marrying her daughter, now, buddy. You. Are a bum.
  • Wear Crocs anywhere but in your garden, and you are over the age of ten, I will judge you. There's holes in them, pal. Miss, there are holes in your shoes. What are you supposed to do with that? Shoes are not meant to be rubber and lime green... or shaped like that... Ever. And if you put those little rubber button whatever-they-ares on your Crocs, go stand in a corner; no one likes you anymore. I'm sorry, that's a little harsh. Go home. Please.
  • Look like Albus Dumbledore, I will judge you. I'm talking to you, old man eating Wonton soup in that Chinese restaurant. Please don't cast a spell on me.
  • Have a picture of Edward Cullen or Jacob Black on your shirt, I will judge. Actually, if you have a Twilight shirt of any kind on, I will judge you. Don't advertise that shit, man. It's already popular enough; wouldn't you agree? Oh, what's that? You're team Edward? Well then, I'm team Jacob. Yeah, I love werewolves. They're sooo cool. I'm sorry, what? You're team Jacob? Oh, that's cool; I just remembered that I hate all of them. Every last person in Twilight. That's right, I'm talking to you, Kristin Stewart. 

P.S.- Super big thanks to my pal Rafa over at The RudeBlog for putting Pork on a Fork in his list of bloggity blogs that he likes to read. Check out his blog. Now. It's funny. Guaranteed laughs or your money back; just kidding, I have no money for you. It's funny, though.

Another P.S.- Pork on a Fork has a Facebook page, now. You can like it on Facebook from the sidebar right here on this crappy looking snazzy blog of mine. Go like it, so I don't look like a loser.


Anonymous said...

im more than a little obsessed with this right now =]
jenna vezina XD

Sara said...

Hahaha ahww, thanks Jenna! xD

Rafa said...

Thanks for the shout yo! I like what you do and you're funny as hell!!

BTW I think hell is funny, so that was a compliment. Or condiment, wait that's ketchup. HUH?

The Goose said...

Hmm, I wonder...

Sara said...

You're quite welcome! And thank you! Hell sounds like a really good name for a condiment. Like hot sauce. "I like my burgers with hell and barbecue sauce." No? Okay.

And what, Jim? Haha

The Goose said...

If anyone will read my blog... XD

I am a failure blogger...

Oh well!
Time to skip along the yellow brick road!

Sara said...

Lol yo, I advertise this shit like crazay. I post the link to my blonlike wherever I can type shit in. I'm like "LINK. GO READ MY BLOG."