A Sexy Feather Duster
Thanks, Lady GaGa, for this gem of a costume idea.
Really? Who does this?
A Very Clever Sexual Innuendo
You know you thought that, too.
Just kidding. If you look really closely, you can tell this isn't actually a cat costume. It's a real cat. But I totally got you for a second, right?
That's right. A big bag of douche.
See anything you like? I know, they're all brilliant. I try. Just for you guys. I don't have to try that hard to be awesome though, since it just kind of comes to me. Actually, I try way too hard. Coming up with ideas for blog posts isn't so easy. It's actually kind of challenging; especially for an extremely ADD person like me. See, here's a step by step on how I write a blog post:
Step #1: Sit down at computer.
Step #2: Applaud your extreme talent and sheer skill displayed while completing Step #1 and reward yourself with Oreos.
Step #3: Realize that you have no milk to go with your Oreos and go into the kitchen to fix that.
Step #4: See your iPod on the counter and realize that it needs charging.
Step #5: Plug your iPod into computer to charge it, and realize you haven't listened to your current favorite song in 3 hours and immediately play it.
Step #6: Hear a good line in the song and set it as your status message on Facebook. Check your newsfeed. Check your notifications. Respond to every one.
Step #7: Go to you blog, and click "New Post."
Step #8: Restart favorite song, and realize that you haven't played Pocket Frogs in about 2 hours.
Step #9: Play Pocket Frogs for an hour.
Step #10: Begin writing your new post.
Step #11: Spell check the first three sentences of your post, even though you know all of it is right.
Step #12: Pet your cat.
Step #13: Feed your cat.
Step #14: Dress up your cat.
Step #15: Laugh hysterically and take pictures of your cat and post them on Facebook with the caption: LOLZ My cat is totally hilarious in this Jester costume! HAHA MY CAT LOOKS LIKE A DOUCHEBAG AND I'M LOLING SO HARD.
Step #16: Tell everyone on Facebook that your new blog post is going to be hysterically funny, and they better read it or else you'll kick their ass.
Step #17: Have a 10 minute argument with three different people through Facebook Chat about how you COULD, in fact, kick their ass.
Step #18: Give up.
Step #19: Realize that you totally bragged about having an awesome upcoming blog post.
Step #20: Tell yourself that you can't get up until you finish your new blog post.
Step #21: Work your ass off coming up with an idea for your new blog post.
Step #22: Spend 20 minutes reading it over.
Step #23: Hit "Publish post."
Step #24: Go eat pizza with your mother, and think about the life that you totally need to get.
Come on now, REALLY? What is this?!